My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I use my feet as sexual weapons
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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