I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
