Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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