Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize