Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize