every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize