My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
