no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
honey bunches of taint.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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