I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
