Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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