Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
