i barfeds in our rink
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
