Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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