Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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