I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
