I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
