sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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