I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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