how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
