how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
this will be a night to untag.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
