IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
