i don't like sucking hair
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
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