So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
