she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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