i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
