don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
