why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
