i'm signing you up for texting rehab
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
