Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
