Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
