im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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