what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
