Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
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