used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
