You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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