after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
