Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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