I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Randomize