do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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