you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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