I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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