we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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