She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
