Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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