okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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