Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
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I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
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