we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
