We're facebook friends in real life
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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