Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I wanna passion pit in your ass
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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