he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
