so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
i know! what is this dateline?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Dating After Heartbreak
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Bring me that man meat
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?