no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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