just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
high people should be assigned attendants
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.