Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again