I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
i permit you to call me
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.