I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
