I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
