Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
