the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
i came on her dog
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
