Those balls look pretty dangerous.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
