It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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