I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂