Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....