This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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