This girl is more easily done than said...
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
