I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
