You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
