No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize