She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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