Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
