wrigley field is MILF paradise
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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