Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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