Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
