god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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