Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
